Short Showers

It’s 8PM local time in Tokyo, but my body clock is telling me it’s 3AM. I’ve just sat through a long, pointless day of cancelled meetings. I’ve accomplished little other than drinking way too much instant coffee, which has now turned rank in my stomach. I’m tired, and mildly irritable. I just want to go back to my hotel and pass out.

The hotel shower is made for someone who is perhaps five feet tall and weights one hundred pounds less than I do.

Marching on

I see storm clouds on the travel horizon. I’ve had it too easy the past month without too much travel and my check is about to be cashed.

Next week I’m in CA working at a customer site. I’ve been invited (AKA ordered) by my manager to head to the CA office next weekend for a “team building” exercise. This means golf. Too say that I suck at golf is too polite. I’ll have the pleasure of looking like a total idiot in front of my “team members”.

Week after next I’m (still) in Ca for a corporate road show. (That’s one weekend at home I’m missing.) Road shows = pickled livers.

The week road show I’m in Tokyo. (Second weekend at home I’m missing)

The week after that I’m in Austin. (Third weekend at home I’m missing)

The week after that I’m back in CA.

So let’s see…it looks like the grand sum of about 18 hours in my house over the next month.

Am I on a career path or the Baton Death March?

Cell Phones

Why do some men find it necessary to carry on conversations on their mobile phones while urinating in public restrooms? Do woman do this too?

I found myself in a airport restroom yesterday afternoon, standing in my “spot” at the urinal, having the pleasure of listening to two different men carry on conversations on their Bluetooth ear phones while urinating.

Now mind you, I’m not a complete curmudgeon. If my next door urinal neighbor is talking on their cell phone and it’s obvious that someone is dying/dead/near death, I understand the need. I suppose. Well, perhaps not, but let’s just say I can roll with that scenario with a minimum of internal groaning. I don’t hear the conversations where someone is dying though, what I typically hear are two types of conversations;

Mundane: “I’m at the airport now getting ready to fly to ….” I hope the person on the other end of the phone is impressed, because no one else in the restroom is impressed with this kind of conversation. I’d like to interject a little fun into one of their conversations, just once, by yelling, “Hey, did you know that this guy is holding his penis and urinating while he talks to you about the weather??”

Simulated Importance: “I’m working right now to close the 14 million dollar deal.” Yeah, sure you are. You have so much self confidence that you’re telling a bathroom full of complete strangers, who will never see you again, about your big “deal” while you urinate. I say grow a penis so that you can stop pretending that you’re important during your phone conversations in the bathroom.

I won’t even touch the topic of men who talk on their cell phones while having bowel movements.

blah

This morning I was thinking about shooting myself. I don’t own a gun, so I guess that flushes that area of pondering. I wouldn’t kill myself anyway, but still…it was an area of pondering.

I’m a middle aged married man with children, yet I rarely hear the laughter of children in my house. How did I manage to doom myself to this winter morning of standing in my home, in absolute silence, knowing that I am absolutely barren as a father? How much of my identity as a father did I forfeit upon signing on the dotted line of the divorce paper over a decade ago?

I try to communicate with my children in ways that my father never communicated with me, and yet, I fail. I’m broadcasting to receivers that aren’t even remotely tuned to my frequency. I find myself wondering, annoyed, what exactly do my children want from me? I try to give them of myself, yet…it’s not enough. We don’t communicate.

I’m confused about my career. How much money do I need to save for retirement? My friends tell me that I need more. How much is “more”? “Just have more” they tell me. More than what? I’m well on my way to being a millionaire when I retire. How much do I need?

I pray for solace, yet none is given to me.
I pray for understanding of this life I lead, yet understanding eludes me.
I pray that my life has some sort of meaning, yet I fear it has none, and that I will never be granted the understanding from God as to what my true purpose is on this globe.
I seek, yet I fine no solace.

Squeaky Clean

I’ve resumed my life on the road after being home for several weeks during the holidays.

The isolation and loneliness of the hotel room at night seem greater than last year. I found myself sitting in my hotel room, working on my homework, and wondering just how I manage to do this all the time. Soon I may resort to bringing finger puppets with me for a little extra conversation and entertainment.

Somehow I managed to schedule both a dentist appointment and a doctor appointment on my day off, the MLK holiday. I was violated (and squeaky clean) at both ends prior to 10AM.

Year End

Today is my last work day of the year, and appropriately, I’ll spend it on several planes traveling home. Here’s my stats for the year.

Days (working) on the road: 186
Days (Holiday) on the road: 15
Miles Flown: 100,000’ish
Flights: 110’ish
Sick: Twice (both while on the road)
Forgetting name of grandchild: Once
Forgetting own name: Once
Where I’ve been: MN, NY, TX, IL, IH, HI, MO, OR, MA, CA, Japan

Here’s a link for a location I visited from each location that was interesting to me.

MN: http://www.mallofamerica.com/
NY: http://www.sensuousbean.com/ The owners were more interesting than the coffee.
TX: http://www.gruenetexas.com/ Who knew so many shops could sell the exact same product?
IL: I’m drawing a blank here.
HI: http://www.honolulu.gov/parks/facility/hanaumabay/welcome.htm Park opens at 6AM. Suck it up and do it at 6. Take your own flippers if you go early. Rental units no open until 7:30AM.
MO: http://www.gatewayarch.com/Arch/index.aspx# The arch was closed the day I visited. I’m not kidding either. CLOSED.
OR: http://www.ci.garibaldi.or.us/ Can you see me waving?
WA: http://www.fishintimeguides.com/ I broke the curse.
MA: http://www.essexseafood.com/ Good, local dining
CA: http://www.beachboardwalk.com/ (shh…I kept a ring from the carousel
Japan: http://r.gnavi.co.jp/a231600 Who knew that some bars are open until 5AM?

Revisiting preivous post

This week I’m working on site with the customers I mentioned in my April 7th post. Fade eight months and here we are, the full disservice of the “bulk training” forced upon my customers by their own management now in full blossom.

The customer doesn’t have clue how to use the equipment his company bought from my company. This is not good. The customer’s internal customers are upset that the tool isn’t performing the way they think it should. This is bad. The customer won’t admit that he doesn’t remember anything I taught him. This is very bad. The customer requested that I come here to work with him and now he took a day off. I’m sitting here in a cubicle doing absolutely nothing productive to assist this customer and help dig him out of the hole he’s in. This is very, very bad. I’m drinking coffee, working on reports, and generally being unproductive. The clock is ticking away and the customer is paying serious cash for me to sit here and do nothing.

My other customers are rather annoyed that I’m not working with them at this exact moment, and I’m already booking my travel for January. I can’t believe I’m sitting here…doing nothing....