Cell Phones

Why do some men find it necessary to carry on conversations on their mobile phones while urinating in public restrooms? Do woman do this too?

I found myself in a airport restroom yesterday afternoon, standing in my “spot” at the urinal, having the pleasure of listening to two different men carry on conversations on their Bluetooth ear phones while urinating.

Now mind you, I’m not a complete curmudgeon. If my next door urinal neighbor is talking on their cell phone and it’s obvious that someone is dying/dead/near death, I understand the need. I suppose. Well, perhaps not, but let’s just say I can roll with that scenario with a minimum of internal groaning. I don’t hear the conversations where someone is dying though, what I typically hear are two types of conversations;

Mundane: “I’m at the airport now getting ready to fly to ….” I hope the person on the other end of the phone is impressed, because no one else in the restroom is impressed with this kind of conversation. I’d like to interject a little fun into one of their conversations, just once, by yelling, “Hey, did you know that this guy is holding his penis and urinating while he talks to you about the weather??”

Simulated Importance: “I’m working right now to close the 14 million dollar deal.” Yeah, sure you are. You have so much self confidence that you’re telling a bathroom full of complete strangers, who will never see you again, about your big “deal” while you urinate. I say grow a penis so that you can stop pretending that you’re important during your phone conversations in the bathroom.

I won’t even touch the topic of men who talk on their cell phones while having bowel movements.