Tick Tock

It’s hard to believe, but the majority of the department I've worked in the past four years will be terminated tomorrow afternoon. I will be the last man standing from this project. I’m not sure if that’s entirely a good thing or not, but I’ll still be collecting a paycheck, so I count it as primarily as a good thing. I was the last man standing from the last project too.

The layoffs were announced three weeks ago while I was visiting my folks. I was contacted by my manager, who requested that I return to the home office “bright and early” the following Monday morning for an “important discussion”. Having rode the layoff train a couple of times in the past, I opted to just tell the manager that it was ok to fire me on the phone and save us both the hassle. He laughed, just a little, and said that I was safe “this time”.

A summary of our subsequent discussion goes like this: “Sell something, sell it within the next twenty four months, or your fate will be the same.” This gives me a little breathing room, but not much. It usually takes about 18 months to process a customer from first contact to receipt of a purchase order.

I had a very awkward discussion with one of my departing colleagues last week. I most humbly requested that she transfer any electronic documents of interest from her laptop to my portable hard drive. Without bating an eyelash, she politely told me to stick it. Can’t say that I blame her either! How awful, not to just be terminated, but to be terminated and then be forced to hand all your work over to your colleagues on your way out the door. It’s the real world, but sometimes it’s an awkward world.

I have another colleague that I need data from, but I’ve opted to have our IT department hold his laptop (as well as the other lady’s laptop) after his termination rather than have yet another awkward discussion.

I tried to say goodbye last week, but it just didn’t work out. At some point today I’ll craft a goodbye email and send it into the void.

Are you kidding me?!?

Several years ago (http://roadwearybusinessman.blogspot.com/2007/04/training-escapades.html) I wrote about a few of my brand new customers. Last week, all of these customers were laid off by their company. Layoffs aren’t new to the industry this year. Everyone is doing it. What’s different with this layoff is that the customer terminated ALL the employees who know how to use the equipment my company sold them. (Someone is seriously brain dead.)

It’s kind of like terminating all the public bus drivers and then expecting the buses to run on time. Crazy, crazy, crazy. What’s amusing is that the manufacturing company that purchased the equipment from my company wants me to return to their facility and begin training a new batch of engineers. For free.
There is absolutely no chance of that happening. We’ve sent them a quote of about $700 per hour if they would like me to grace them with my presence. Now if they would only pay ME the $700 an hour, life would be much better!

Don't go

I walked my daughter down the wedding aisle this Friday past. We were both nervous or anxious prior to “the walk”.

I decided that my job was to try to set her at ease, as much as I could. I had thought about saying something serious during our walk, but I could tell she was on the edge of tears, so I opted not to say anything tear inducing. As we waited to begin our walk, I made light jokes, but what I wanted to say was “please don’t go jess, it’s too soon, and you’re just not ready.” Instead I made light pitter patter with my words, trying to weave a tapestry of relaxation around her on this special night.

What I really wanted was for someone to weave a tapestry for me. Weave a tapestry for me where I’m still innocent and believe that love is all it takes to make it in this world. Weave me a tapestry where everyone ends up happy in the end and we each receive that which we have earned.

What I really wanted to tell my daughter was “don’t go, it’s too soon, you’re just a baby and you’re not ready for this commitment.” Instead, I explained to her that my job was to walk her through the wedding chapel hall and then down the wedding aisle without her twisting an ankle or falling over. I explained that I’ve not lost a daughter yet on “the walk”, so it would be a big favor to me if she would not fall down or twist an ankle and make me look like I wasn’t doing my job. What I really wanted to say was, “Please don’t go you’re not ready.”

And so we walked down the aisle. No broken bones, no twisted ankles. All too soon it was time for me to give her hand to another man. “Who gives this woman?” the preacher intoned.

I recall when Jess was born. It was 10:06PM on a Thursday evening. Into my life came this squalling, cheese covered, baby daughter, and my life has never been quite the same. We grew up together, this daughter and I.

And now here I was, tasked with the job of handing over one of my daisies to another man. Would he take care of her the way I have tried to? Would he love her the way I do? In the end, it made no difference what I thought. My daughter wanted to marry this young man, so I said “I do.”

…but what I wanted to say was “don’t go”.

Breakfast-St. Louis Style

The Siren call of the White Gravy (yes, something that good must be capitalized!) at the Cracker Barrel was too loud and insistent for me to ignore today. I dined there for my breakfast when I found that I was too late for breakfast at my hotel. Unfortunately, once I backed out of the trough, I was required to drive several hours and then take a customer out for lunch. (Breakfast was sitting oh-so-heavy in the breadbasket.) I ate a salad, just so the customer wouldn't feel odd about eating by himself. I could of easily skipped the entire meal.

This evening, the Siren beckoned me back to the trough once again, and I found myself trotting across the parking lot to answer the luscious, sultry, beckoning call of the White Gravy.

Next week, I swear I can't stay in this hotel. My Southern Bloodline gets all fired up when I'm in St. Louis and I just crave White Gravy. I must move further away from Cracker Barrel, I must move further away from Cracker Barrel, I must move closer to Cracker Barrel, I must move closer to Cracker Barrel…..

Perhaps next week I can find double fried chicken with waffles, maple syrup and White Gravy. That sounds wonderful, does it not?

The Quest has begun.

I can't see to type in a title...

I was working at a customer site in the Mid-West this past week. This particular site has been hit hard by the out sourcing of the manufacturing staff to overseas manufacturing sites. I had to laugh (and snap a picture) when I walked by this eye glasses collection box. I guess the manufacturing staff aren't so amused.

Stealth Dinner shots

There's a real art form to taking good, unobserved, pictures during meal time. I snapped this little baby at dinner one night this week. I was trying to make a choice between this meal, and a different meal that looked (in the menu) like a volcano shaped out of raw meat. I was leaning towards the meat volcano, but decided to ask the server for his input.

Take my really bad Japanese, the servers really bad English, and together it made for a worse combination. I think the server suggested this dish, so I gave it a whirl. I'm getting better at eating noodles and I don't wear them on my glasses or shirts so much anymore, but this meal was a challenge. The sauce thickened up a bit when I mixed in the egg. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 6. It lacked any zip or vigor. I should have gone with the meat volcano. Next time I will.

I have the beer , and the dinner to go with it, please

So I found a family owned restaurant a bit off the beaten path near my hotel. The dining establishment itself is fairly forgettable, but, the beer, my word. The meal pictured cost about 800Y. The beer cost 700Y. The beer itself, which the picture doesn’t even begin to do justice, was more like three full beers. It was gigantic. It was amazing.

I’ve had dinner there several times this week.